Britney, Hook Up With ...
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WCP / MBF / X17online.com
Britney, Hook Up With ...
Britney Spears exudes sexiness ... just look at her. Cough. Cough. Hack. Hack. Sorry. Anyway, who should be Britney's next "manny"? You know, the man-nannies she fancies so much? We have some fellows for the job. Good luck, gentlemen.
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Jesse Metcalfe
We almost feel guilty for putting Jesse Metcalfe in this gallery, because we therefore are promoting not only his career but the mere knowledge of his existence ... OK, that's a little harsh. You get our drift. But maybe Jesse and Britney can go be low-profile together. For the bettering of society as a whole.
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Sharkpixs / ZUMA Press
Lindsay Lohan
Hey, we didn't start the Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson love affair rumors, we're just kind of encouraging them by hooking Lindsay up with some other gal (we were going to day 'lady,' but let's face it, Britney is the farthest thing from a lady). Maybe these two troubled stars can set themselves on a path to normal crazy, instead of bat-crap crazy.
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John Parra, WireImage.com
K-Fed
He's trying to take the kids away from her, so Britney's best bet is to start sucking up big time to Kevin Federline. Just recently, she brought the kids to Vegas with her (what a great family vacay!) without notifying K-Fed, which goes against the terms of their custody agreement. Just keep digging, Britney.
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Radko Keleman, ZUMA Press
Keith Urban
Keith Urban is a guy who knows how to take his rehab seriously. Which also means he probably takes his marriage seriously, therefore Britney has no hope of him ever showing the slightest interest in her. But maybe they should at least get together for some Starbucks ... or Dunkin' Donuts, that seems more "Britney" to us ... and Keith can give her some inspirational wisdom.
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Dan Herrick, / ZUMA Press
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake probably throws up in his mouth a little bit when he thinks about what his ex-girlfriend has turned into. Britney was smokin'-hot fire when she dated JT, and she has more than let her self go to the pits. If anyone could make Britney have the comeback we've been hoping for, it'd be Justin.
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Stuart Sewell, UPPA / ZUMA Press
Pete Doherty
If there's anyone in the world with worse problems than Britney, it's Pete Doherty. The British "rock star," who just was finally dumped and kicked out of ex-girlfriend Kate Moss' house, has been to court and in rehab for his drug problems more times than we can count. We figure if Britney dated him, he'd make her look like a saint.
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Ryan Born, WireImage.com
Tom Cruise
We have no idea why Tom Cruise is in Britney Spears' matchmaker. The only conclusion we can come up with is that with so many crazy people in one gallery, we momentarily had a losing of wits ourselves. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
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