Dear Dee:
I'm a freshman in high school. I have a total of zero friends, and there are only two people I talk to. I'm just quiet. I'd prefer silence unless the conversation is interesting or funny, and with most people it's neither. When I'm talking to someone that I think I want to be friends with I always have to fake laugh at what they're saying so they won't think I'm some kind of weirdo, even though they probably already do) and I'm not a happy person. I'm just not. I guess it's because it's from when I was picked on in middle school and I grew to think this world is cruel and sucks. I don't want to be lonely in high school, but it seems like that's how it's going to be for the rest of the year. I hardly talk in any of my classes and I spend lunch in the Media Center reading. Reading and writing are what I like to do the most. I've never met anyone who liked to read as much as me, except for a friend from middle school. So, what I'm asking you is: How do I meet people like me and make new friends? (And please don't tell me to be happy-go-lucky because that is not me!)
I am not going to tell you to be something you are not. There are probably too many kids in your school doing that already. It's OK not to be a social butterfly but I do see a little contradiction in what you are saying. You said you don't want to talk to people, but you want to make new friends. It's kind of hard to make new friends if you don't want to talk to them. I know it's hard to approach new people sometimes, especially if you are shy. I think the best way to find kids you have things in common with is to join a club (or two) that suits your interests. You say you like to read, so a book or literary club would be a perfect fit for you. You can meet people who you already know share a common interest and it will already give you something to talk about. Your school also probably offers creative writing classes which would give you another opportunity to share your ideas and thoughts with others.
I also think it would help for you to talk to a mental health professional. High school is really hard, and sometimes really sucks, but if you don't feel happy, you can do something about it with the help of a counselor. If you're not sure where to start, try talking to your school counselor. He or she can point you in the right direction.
Dear Dee:
It seems like everyone is coming out with their sexual orientation these days. I thought I was straight, then I thought I was bisexual, and now I just don't know what to think. Everyone says that if you’re gay you can tell, but is there a definite way to know? Because I would really like to finally know what I am for sure.
I know what you mean. Because our society has become more accepting of different sexual orientations (a good thing, by the way), people are feeling more comfortable coming out sooner, or at least experimenting with different roles. Adolescence is a really confusing time, when you are trying to figure out who you are in general, and part of that is figuring out who you are sexually. Although many gays and lesbians can say they always knew, some people come to this realization later than others, and some never come to the realization even if that may be their natural orientation. It is normal to question your sexuality. I also think there are different kinds of attractions, and you can be drawn to another person of the same sex or opposite sex for all sorts of reasons. The important thing is to find the place where you feel most comfortable and don't try to be something you are not.
Dear Dee:
I have a crush on this boy but I’m afraid that my friends will make fun of me because he’s really nerdy! What should I do?
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I also think it would help for you to talk to a mental health professional. High school is really hard, and sometimes really sucks, but if you don't feel happy, you can do something about it with the help of a counselor. If you're not sure where to start, try talking to your school counselor. He or she can point you in the right direction.
Dear Dee:
It seems like everyone is coming out with their sexual orientation these days. I thought I was straight, then I thought I was bisexual, and now I just don't know what to think. Everyone says that if you’re gay you can tell, but is there a definite way to know? Because I would really like to finally know what I am for sure.
I know what you mean. Because our society has become more accepting of different sexual orientations (a good thing, by the way), people are feeling more comfortable coming out sooner, or at least experimenting with different roles. Adolescence is a really confusing time, when you are trying to figure out who you are in general, and part of that is figuring out who you are sexually. Although many gays and lesbians can say they always knew, some people come to this realization later than others, and some never come to the realization even if that may be their natural orientation. It is normal to question your sexuality. I also think there are different kinds of attractions, and you can be drawn to another person of the same sex or opposite sex for all sorts of reasons. The important thing is to find the place where you feel most comfortable and don't try to be something you are not.
Dear Dee:
I have a crush on this boy but I’m afraid that my friends will make fun of me because he’s really nerdy! What should I do?
