By JENNIFER SAYLOR
FOR RED
When Do I Need a Tutor
and How Do I Find One?
When do you need a tutor? Whenever you feel like it, actually. Needing homework help in some subjects is not a big deal. It happens to a lot of people, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
If you want to be ashamed, be ashamed for someone who's scared to try new things, scared to fail and scared of being less than perfect. Perfectionism, sad to say for all you perfectionists, is a symptom of secretly feeling imperfect and incomplete. It takes guts to ask for help, and when it comes to homework, asking for help almost always pays off. In college, I needed -- and got -- help with math. It really made a difference in my grade. I felt kind of weird at first, but not for long once I saw how much it was helping my grade, and how many other people needed help.
So how can you be sure that you really need a tutor? You might need a tutor if you've noticed that your work doesn't consistently reflect what know that you are capable of doing. Say, for example, you were awesome at algebra last year, loved the class, loved your teacher and got a B. But you started geometry this year, and … Well, let's just say you never really thought you could ever feel real hatred for parallelograms, but you were wrong.
If you're always confused, working hard and paying attention but still facing the fact that your work doesn't show what you can really do, you probably do need a little help. Accept that you just can't be good at everything (and also that you can be really good at some things) and move on to the next step: yanking a paper bag over your head and hiding in the corner. Kidding. You might feel that way sometimes, but the next step is asking for some help with those evil parallelograms.
Different schools handle tutoring differently. Some offer remote video tutors, where you videoconference with someone for one-on-one tutoring help. Some schools have ''peer tutors'' -- students who are good enough in a subject to help teach it to other students.
OK, I'm gonna let you in on a secret here. Adult tutors are usually better than peer tutors. Peer tutors can totally suck sometimes. Not always, but pretty often. Not that teenagers are somehow inferior to adults (they're not), but just knowing something doesn't mean that you can teach it. Older people usually have a larger skill set that includes not only knowing something but knowing how to teach it, too. If you get frustrated with peer tutors, try getting help from someone older and more experienced.
Here's why: Struggling in school can make you feel like a total loser – as though there's something wrong with you that isn't wrong with the rest of the class. But when you become a tutor at something you're good at, you’ll see that it doesn't mean someone's dumb just because she needs a little homework help and isn't afraid to ask for it. Building confidence in others can help you to build it in yourself.
So don't feel ashamed if there's something you're not good at, OK? Everybody's different, and nobody's good at everything. Being not-so-hot in just one subject (even an important and unavoidable one), doesn't mean that you're stupid. It just means that you need help. And everybody needs help sometimes.
P.S., Look, I think we all know that math homework in particular can really mess with your mind. Did you know that there's a special "Math Anxiety Bill of Rights" for people who are scared of math sometimes? It helped me to feel better about math, a subject I actually liked but was never any good at. Have a look here if you think you need a little extra math love!
If you want to be ashamed, be ashamed for someone who's scared to try new things, scared to fail and scared of being less than perfect. Perfectionism, sad to say for all you perfectionists, is a symptom of secretly feeling imperfect and incomplete. It takes guts to ask for help, and when it comes to homework, asking for help almost always pays off. In college, I needed -- and got -- help with math. It really made a difference in my grade. I felt kind of weird at first, but not for long once I saw how much it was helping my grade, and how many other people needed help.
So how can you be sure that you really need a tutor? You might need a tutor if you've noticed that your work doesn't consistently reflect what know that you are capable of doing. Say, for example, you were awesome at algebra last year, loved the class, loved your teacher and got a B. But you started geometry this year, and … Well, let's just say you never really thought you could ever feel real hatred for parallelograms, but you were wrong.
If you're always confused, working hard and paying attention but still facing the fact that your work doesn't show what you can really do, you probably do need a little help. Accept that you just can't be good at everything (and also that you can be really good at some things) and move on to the next step: yanking a paper bag over your head and hiding in the corner. Kidding. You might feel that way sometimes, but the next step is asking for some help with those evil parallelograms.
In-School Tutoring
Make an appointment with your guidance counselor and talk honestly about your homework and your feelings about it. Your counselor might even pick up on hidden problems that are the real reason for your struggles. Maybe you've got an unrealized learning disability, or maybe your awful reading comprehension is actually caused by a vision problem that's correctable with glasses. With luck (and with a school that has a budget for extra help), a counselor can set you up with some free school-sponsored tutoring help.Different schools handle tutoring differently. Some offer remote video tutors, where you videoconference with someone for one-on-one tutoring help. Some schools have ''peer tutors'' -- students who are good enough in a subject to help teach it to other students.
OK, I'm gonna let you in on a secret here. Adult tutors are usually better than peer tutors. Peer tutors can totally suck sometimes. Not always, but pretty often. Not that teenagers are somehow inferior to adults (they're not), but just knowing something doesn't mean that you can teach it. Older people usually have a larger skill set that includes not only knowing something but knowing how to teach it, too. If you get frustrated with peer tutors, try getting help from someone older and more experienced.
Outside-of-School Tutoring
If your school doesn't have any tutoring options that work for you, it's time to get creative. One fast and easy way to find help is to call your local community college's tutoring center. Usually they can recommend someone from the college's tutoring or teaching staff. Although using one of these tutors won't be free the way school-sponsored tutors usually are, you’ll get undivided one-on-one attention in your subject. Don't be scared to shop around for a tutor that you really connect with, and who really helps you.Going Out on a Limb
And here's a really bold idea. See if you can become a tutor yourself at your school. Really. No, not in the subject you're struggling with (although down the road you just might -- it's not unusual for someone to end up loving a subject that once gave them problems). Tutor in another subject, something that you really like.Here's why: Struggling in school can make you feel like a total loser – as though there's something wrong with you that isn't wrong with the rest of the class. But when you become a tutor at something you're good at, you’ll see that it doesn't mean someone's dumb just because she needs a little homework help and isn't afraid to ask for it. Building confidence in others can help you to build it in yourself.
So don't feel ashamed if there's something you're not good at, OK? Everybody's different, and nobody's good at everything. Being not-so-hot in just one subject (even an important and unavoidable one), doesn't mean that you're stupid. It just means that you need help. And everybody needs help sometimes.
P.S., Look, I think we all know that math homework in particular can really mess with your mind. Did you know that there's a special "Math Anxiety Bill of Rights" for people who are scared of math sometimes? It helped me to feel better about math, a subject I actually liked but was never any good at. Have a look here if you think you need a little extra math love!
