Good Listening Skills

You know the drill. Mom and dad are lecturing because you're not studying hard enough. They're going on and on and blah blah blah and all you can think about is the fact that you're missing the new episode of 'Degrassi'.

It's pretty typical and we've all been there. But this scenario is more than likely the exact reason you're not making the grades in school. Need more explanation? Read on.

In a world where it's easier to text, email or IM a friend rather than picking up the phone and calling, we're finding our listening skills diminishing substantially. Also, our need to multitask instead of focusing on a single undertaking doesn't allow us to truly hear what someone is saying.

We absorb and maintain information much better now when we read it or write it, instead of hearing it, since we've 'evolved' our in-depth conversation into the written word. So it's only natural our listening skills in class, at home and even when we're with our friends are less than perfect. Information we hear is literally in one ear and out the other and doesn't get absorbed in its entirety. Add to that the fact that we are usually thinking of something else entirely when someone is speaking to us, and the likelihood of truly grasping the full story from a spoken conversation is pretty much nonexistent.

Since fully absorbing and listening isn't really second-nature behavior anymore, we have to retrain ourselves to be attentive, alert and ready to absorb what we're hearing. It's not easy! But it can be done.

In order to hone good listening skills, prepare emotionally to receive the information. Your attitude toward the conversation you're hearing or the lecture you're meant to learn from is extremely important. Make a conscious choice to find the topic interesting and useful. Be committed to learning all you can.

Also, listen with purpose. Throughout the conversation, identify items you know you're meant to learn from or comment on. Understand fully that you are meant to hear this conversation or lecture in order to draw something from it, whether it be test information, general knowledge or facts to help guide a friend through troubled times.

Listen with an open mind as well. Be receptive to whoever is talking -- even if you have your own strong opinions on the subject. As a listener, your purpose is to absorb the facts and then analyze it rationally. It is, of course, fine to question things as long as you remain open to what is being told to you. Realize your point of view is not everyone's point of view.

Be attentive. When we're not truly listening, it shows in our face. It's not a secret when our minds wander from the current conversation. Attentiveness requires direct focus and discipline and commitment. Commit yourself to hearing what's being said and fully taking it in. An excellent way to achieve this is to maintain eye contact with whomever is talking.

We all know it's a constant battle for our mouths to catch up to our minds when we're speaking ... the same is true with our ears. We can think faster than our teacher speaks and faster than we can take all the information in. Use this to your advantage by evaluating what is being said and by trying to anticipate what will be said next. Take good mental or written notes. Taking notes helps your mind stay focused, as we can't usually write (at least neatly) as fast as our teachers speak. So taking notes requires you to analyze what to write down. It forces you to be an active listener instead of a passive one.

Listening takes determination, dedication and acceptance of the challenge to absorb and analyze what you're hearing. Don't give up if you find the information being presented is too difficult to understand. Listen even more carefully at these times and work harder at understanding. NEVER be reluctant to ask questions. This shows you're engaged, paying attention and helps you maintain focus.

Also, determine within yourself to triumph over your environment. Classrooms are noisy. Other conversations are going on and there's always something going on when we're supposed to be listening. Don't give in to these temptations. Don't allow them to draw your focus away. Stay tuned into the task until the end.

Sounds like a lot of work, right? Well, it is. But it's worth it. Great listening is essential to our success not only as students but as boyfriends, girlfriends, friends and contributors to society. Oh, and our parents will appreciate it, too.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Some information for this article was obtained from www.how-to-study.com